There are Jews in Alabama?

[Rayabean]

I did a little searching and found this site, which shows the photo and tells what happened to the little boy.

http://home8.inet.tele.dk/aaaa/Holocaust2.htm

Raya

[Carol @israelisms]

The zionist billboard in Cleveland which used the picture made me realize that there must be a strong Jewish community there. Great story behind the picture. I am always reminded of a holocaust survivor, an old woman living here with like 20 grandkids. When she introduces her grandkids she always says- "Great revenge " Gotta love it.

[Carbell79]

[Rayabean]

Um, Chad, I didn't make the site (nor did I even read all of it...I just saw that it had that photo and seemed to give some info on what became of the boy). So I can't be held responsible for the erroneous NY geography info, but thanks for the lesson! To those of us in Dixie, it's all just the north anyway.

[Carbell79]

[Trixie]

Hi. A little Southern convert here! Well maybe not so little anymore...Love the podcasts by the way

My decision was a work in progress for sooooo many years. When I was young, my Mother dragged my older sister and I prematurely to confirmation classes for the Episcopal Church - we were under seven years of age which is much to young to sit through a boring class like that in the evenings. I managed to get us kicked out of classes by asking why Jesus let all the Jews be killed by the Nazis. The poor layman was horrified! We had to sit in the library until class ended and then he told my mother that we were not allowed to come back until we were a bit older. We were the only ones there who even knew about this event - the rest of the students were like "what are these girls talking about.." When we got home, one very ticked off mother had us write letters to our Godparents explaining why we were not going to be confirmed. In my letter I said that I couldn't understand why Jesus didn't perform a miracle and save the Jews and that until someone could tell me what happened and why then maybe I shouldn't be confirmed. My Aunt has this letter still. She showed it to me a few years ago! How funny!

My dad was probably blamed for the whole event. Poor guy.

He is the product of a non-denominational mid-Western upbringing (Minnesota/Dakotas) where his mother raised two boys in a working poor family. His father passed away when he was 3 and his mother passed away when he was serving in Vietnam. Dad suffered from PTS and survivors guilt. Extremely well educated, fluent in 3 languages, and versed in Jewish history, Dad scoffed at organized religion - knew he was going to Hell for killing people in war -and refused to set foot in church except for our weddings and funerals. Dad found the whole confirmation class event quite funny which simply re-inforced the thought process.

Growing up we had kosher friends and neighbors and lived in WPB which has quite a visible Jewish community. My interest in Israel was at an all time high. My mother, however, refused to allow me to visit any other religious organizations if I did not give equal time to the Episcopal Church. I was to stubborn to agree and the forbidden fruit was thus even more tempting. In high school we had a class on comparative world religions where I discovered that "Oh my gosh - I'm Jewish!"

In college (Go Noles!) I tried to associate with the Episcopal Church even attending one where the priest knew my mother. She was happy - I was not. I didn't like it. I stopped visiting after 3 or 4 months and dropped the boyfriend at the time who saw Christianity as a big part of our relationship. I took more religion classes and each time felt that my belief structure was more Jewish than Christian. I increased the number of Jewish friends by pure chance and felt the tug in that direction.

But I married a Catholic (from UF). The marriage didn't last. He had it annulled while we were in grad school. The whole annulment process was an eye opener and another turn off. I tried the Episcopal Church again with no success. I stopped trying for a number of years.

I remarried and have been married now for over a decade to the son of an Advent Christian minister. After 2 years of marriage, I "treated" myself to conversion. Yep. Gave myself the gift of God on terms that I agreed with...compliments of Temple Israel in Tallahassee, Florida. A sorority sister went with me on our first visit and by the end of the year we were Jews. Then I discovered that my husband was a closet Jew! He won't convert as long as his father is alive out of respect for his parents but we have a Jewish home and he attends the neighborhood temple with me.

Why is he a closet Jew? Why did I convert?

We agreed with the basic concepts and structure while identifying with a religion that places value in literacy, education, and open discussion. I love that this tradition doesn't hide or disregard texts but rather opens their minds to the possibilities contained within unlike Christianity which dismisses texts because they go against or contradict or don't add value to the standard Bible.

More importantly it corresponded with our belief in Free Will and that no "middle man" was needed to relate to or communicate with God. The absence of "a priest/church through which your membership attested to your belief in Jesus which thereby gave you entry to God" was central to my way of thinking.

The first Rabbi I met told me that my father was not going to hell, that my dad did believe in God "because you can't be angry at something you don't believe in", and that Israel was full of soliders with the same questions/issues. For the first time I felt that I had met someone who didn't think confession or baptism or some other ceremony would cleanse my father of his demons. The Rabbi went on to coin the term "closet Jew" and said that my father was definitely one. I felt at peace.

Equally important was the fact that when I first walked through the doors of Temple Israel, the congregation welcomed me without question or hesitation. They embraced my friend too and simply adored my husband. I had done so much reading that I was expecting to be turned away a couple of times first. This was not the case and the Rabbi actually said to me "Of course you are Jewish!". He took one look at me, listened to my 30 minute story, and knew immediately that I was a Jewish spirit. It was the fastest conversion on record probably...

Jews are still surprised when they hear my story because they think most people convert for marriage but I haven't found that to be the case at all. Most of the converts I know are Jews by Choice not because of marriage but because of sincere belief. In addition I see so many homes of interfaith couples where it is the Christian spouse who agrees to a Jewish upbringing for their children because they are dissatisfied with the spiritual aspects of their own faith traditions.

Just my story...and my two cents worth...

[Rayabean]

Wow, Trixie! Your story is fascinating!!! I'm so glad you found us and that you're out there listening.

I don't have any statistical data to back this up, but I think more and more people are converting to Judaism NOT because of marriage...or at least not solely because of marriage. Eric has talked about his conversion process on the podcast and he would maybe never have thought of Judaism had he not met me, but he definitely would not have stayed Catholic, and once he found Judaism, it was obvious that it was a perfect fit. My mom converted on her own as a single woman, and later met my dad -- at synagogue!! -- and got married. And our friend Bruce, who has also been on the show, became interested in Judaism and was purposely looking for a Jewish man to date. He converted, and unfortunately the relationship ended, but Bruce will be a committed Jew forever.

Anyway, I really enjoyed reading your story and hearing about your love for Judaism.
Raya

[eric]

Trixie, truly a marvelous story, thanks for sharing it with us (even if you are a 'Nole!). Your path to Judaism had much in common with my own. It's amazing to find a faith that values questioning and open discussion, especially when you grow up in a religion that absolutely forbids it!!

Your first marriage was a double-whammy: a Catholic Gator and a 'Nole who was already Jewish in her heart? Now THAT'S an intermarriage!!! :D

Thanks for writing, and thanks for being in the podcast audience!!!

Eric
_________________
"The Magic 8 Ball tried to warn us years ago about Microsoft, when it said 'Outlook not so good.' So true."

[ashliz]

I know I'm jumping into this a year late, but I thought I'd chime in with a couple things.

Firstly, Mary Magdalene was most certainly not a prostitute-- there is absolutely no evidence whatsoever to indicate that she was. She's most commonly associated with the passage in the Christian Bible where a "scorned woman" (aka prostitute) is forgiven by Jesus, and she in turn washes his feet with her hair. However, nowhere is this woman identified as Mary Magdalene. The connection between the story and the person came at the end of the 6th century, when Pope Gregory the Great (I did not give him that name) declared that the woman who washed Jesus' feet was Mary Magdalene, and since the pope is infallible (don't even get me started on that)... Mary is now known as a prostitute. There are many theories as to why he might have made this claim (Dan Brown discusses a few in that book about Da Vinci you might have heard of). I think it's possible that the pope was trying to solidify gender roles in society by defaming a woman who was actually a close follower of Jesus... but we'll never know his true intentions. Whatever they were, he was mistaken.

I'm actually not giving the Catholic church enough credit here-- in the 1960s the Catholic church went through a sort of "reworking" known now as Vatican II, and Mary Magdalene was cleared of all charges, so to speak... but the word hasn't quite trickled down to everyone else yet.

(I should mention-- I am not Catholic-- just a religious nerd).

Secondly, I think it's important to distinguish between the Roman Catholic church and other Christian sects. Most Catholics believe that Mary was always a virgin, yes, but not all Christians do. There's a passage in the book of Mark that refers to Jesus' brothers and sisters (this is, of course, up to translational debate-- my favorite thing). Also, there are a growing number of Christians (and Catholics) who are calling into question the concept of the virgin birth at all. Now, these people of thought (with whom I associate) are considered quite heretical amongst mainstream Christianity, but they are out there, in high places of influence, and their numbers are growing.

To me, it doesn't matter as much what you believe, as long as you think about and understand what you believe, and why. Parroting in any religion is wrong.

Keep in mind-- my father is a (very liberal) Methodist minister, and I was raised in a household of faith where I was constantly encouraged to ask questions. In fact, I was very saddened when I found that the Christian community in my area seemed to look down on this kind of "free thought" and that was, consequentially, what led me to Judaism. (More on that later).

And lastly, Lamb is the best book ever, and should be read by everyone.

Just wanted to clear up those things.

[JasonR02]

Hey everyone. I've been listening to the podcast for several months now, but i'm new to the message board. I'm Jason from South Carolina. The big town of Union, SC but I went to college in Charleston. I am going to begin conversion hopefully in Feb or March. I'm waiting to hear on my next job and once i move and get settled then I can start.
Long story how I went from being raised in a Southern Baptist family to wanting to convert to judaism, but it started my freshmen year of college when I took Intor to World Religions. I already had my issues with Christianity by then, but had not been exposed to any other religion really. When we got to Judaism I found a connection with it that I hadn't experienced with anything else, and that confused me, greatly. As silly as it sounds, I feel as if I should have been born Jewish and something got messed up with where my soul got sent(but I love my parents and that's one feeling I don't think i'll ever share with them). I spent the next four years wrestling with faith/religion. I finally came to the decision that I wanted to convert a few weeks before graduation. Horrible timing. My first out of college job was in Iowa working on a State Senate campaign. The nearest synagogue was over an hour away and I was working seven days a week. Although i did manage to ween myself from pork while living in a place where that's almost all anyone eats.
So come November the elction is over(we won) and its back to SC for the holidays while waiting on a job to start. It was time to tell the parents. Mom teaches sunday school and Dad is a deacon in the church. It wasn't going to be a fun conversation. I didn't want to tell them right then because it could become "remember when Jason ruined Thanksgiving" and then if i told them after Thanksgiving it would just make for a horribly awkward Christmas on short notice. So I decided to wait until the new year and while it made for a slightly depressing christmas time for me, it was probably for the best.
Well, I got back from New Year's in Charleston and told Mom I wanted to have a talk with her about something when she had time to sit down just the two of us. She gave me the what's wrong look. I assured her I wasn't gay, no one was pregnant, and i wasn't getting married. That it was nothing bad. Then she said "Are you going to turn Jewish on me?" I just shook my head and asked what made her ask that. She had noticed I had gained a few books on Judaism in my collection and just from some conversations we'd had. I asked her would it be so bad if I did, and she said no. So I told her that I did want to convert.
It went well considering she didn't lecture me or cry on me, but she won't talk about it either. She says she is not ready to have that "conversation with me" about it all. We both agreed it was best to wait until I had my next job and was moving to tell Dad. So it's disappointing to not being able to talk to either of them about it at this point.
Sorry this is such a long post. I didn't know of a way to talk about part of where I am at with all of this without explaining all of it.

[ashliz]

Hi Jason!

Welcome! I'm probably not one to offer solid advice on this one (since I'm not Jewish), but I wanted to let you know how happy I am for you that you've found your path. I know that "outing" yourself to your mother probably could have gone better, but at least you can approach it now with honesty and respect, from all sides.

Best of luck in your quest for jobs and places of worship. Hang in there-- it'll get easier.

[eric]

Jason -- as I said on the other forum, welcome to the board. (I replied to your football post before your faith post -- you can see where my priorities are!!)

Anyway, if you've listened to the episode of JIA where I discuss my own conversion, the parental issue was major. My parents had known Raya for several years before I converted and we got married, and they couldn't be happier with her as a daughter-in-law. But my conversion to Judaism took them by surprise, which took me by surprise.

I flew down to Florida by myself spring break of 1999. My brother turned 21 that month, and my mom was throwing him a big party. It also seemed to be the perfect opportunity to tell them of my pending conversion. I had started studying with the rabbi at that point, and our wedding was less than six months away.

Like you, I didn't want to cause undue family strife. So I waited until after Patrick's party to have the conversation. It went quite poorly. I thought my parents had come to grips with the fact that I hadn't been Catholic for several years, and was never going to be Catholic again. Clearly, that's not what they thought -- I guess they thought I was going through a "phase."

So instead of seeing it as I thought they would -- as a choice between being Jewish and being "nothing," they saw it as a choice of Judaism over Catholicism. But for me, Catholicism had been out of the equation for years.

I actually left their house that night and stayed in a hotel. My dad made threats about not coming to our wedding. I actually tried to make arrangements to fly home that night, but I couldn't get a flight.

The next day, I went back over, and things calmed down and we discussed everything as adults. My dad still took a stand on stupid things, like refusing to wear a kippah at our wedding. The desire to avoid additional conflict is why we chose to get married at a neutral site, instead of in the synagogue -- we got married at a venue downtown. Although it was a very Jewish wedding, presided over by 3 rabbis, it wasn't in the synagogue and so I didn't have to make an issue out of my dad and my brothers not wearing kippot. Had they been bare-headed in our conservative synagogue, I would have been embarassed.

All I can tell you is that, if my experience is any indication, it will get better. My parents now send us gifts wrapped in Chanukah paper, at the appropriate time (ie during Chanukah!) each year!! My parents have been to a Friday night service with us once; it actually happened to be the night our daughter was born earlier this year. They understand a little of our kashrut policy, I think, and know when the high holidays are each year. They know we'll be sending Sophie to a Jewish day school and raising her very Jewishly; although it's not how they probably imagined their first grandchild being raised, they seem to have accepted it.

So, just wanted to let you know, I've been in your shoes. Although it's not fun at first, it will get easier. And of course, if you've listened to old podcast episodes, you know all this and probably stopped reading this post 10 minutes ago!!!!!

Eric
_________________
"The Magic 8 Ball tried to warn us years ago about Microsoft, when it said 'Outlook not so good.' So true."

[JasonR02]

Ashliz and Eric, thanks for the welcome and the support!
Eric, wow, you really did have a rocky start with the parents about your conversion. I am a little worried my Dad will react the same way that yours did at first too. He isn't going to be happy about it.
My Mom is def. looking at it as me choosing Judaism over Christianity, when like you said, it really is choosing Judaism over having nothing at all. I hope you're right though and they will eventully come to terms with it and be fully supportive. I'm just ready to move and get started. I feel like once i actually start conversion, that will be a wake up call to my Mom that it is not a phase and i won't be coming back to christianity. That and I really am excited to get started. I have so much to learn and i'm ready to start putting into practice what i believe, officially.

[ashliz]

Something to keep in mind-- even when you do formally start conversion, they may still want to think that this is a "phase" that you'll grow out of.

What's important, though, is that this is one of the fun things in life that's completely about YOU. It doesn't matter what they think, because it's your decision (though I really believe that, in time, they'll adjust to this. They may not always like it, but it'll eventually just be who you are). Meanwhile, YOU now get to enjoy everything about embracing your new faith. I know it may sound odd to say, "now the fun part starts," but it's true. When you keep your parent's negativity from your mind, it's going to be a LOT of fun. Because as much as Judaism is known for kvetching and songs in minor, it so much a faith of praise and positive energy-- and anyone who's experienced it knows what I mean.

Hey, maybe in time, your parents will see how positive a faith it is. But one step at a time..